Word to a Ministry Superstar

So before we get too far, I need you to forgive me. Forgive me, because I don’t have the guts to say this to your face.Forgive me, because my brain all to often locks on to something with such a veracious stranglehold that I just can’t let it go.Forgive me because I am going to make what should be a private conversation public, hopefully without giving up your identity.

I won't give you up..I promise.You are a star on the rise.You’re being heralded and bandied about as one of the next greats. You’re name has been scrawled on many district, special event, revival speakers list throughout the world. You are a powerful personality, to call you a merely a speaker or preacher would not do your impact justice. You my friend are a force. A human ball of energy that is rapidly gaining momentum like the currents of the Colorado River. Soon your ministry will be a froth of whirling whiteheads with unmistakable tow. Many will be caught in “your” vortex and their lives will be changed…. For the better. Forever.Yet you are headed for shipwreck.

Arrogant of me, I know. I haven’t even spent an entire day with you, but through some all too personal experiences coupled with observation, this is getting too painful to watch. Again, Painful and Personal. My star never has shown as brightly as yours, but at one time it was bright enough. At one point I had it all. Look at the list : Pretty wife? Check. Picture perfect family? Check. Beautiful home? Check. Sizable income? Check. Nice Church? Check. I traveled; I spoke at camps, conventions, special revivals. I was gathering momentum as a Pastor, a leader, a youth president. All was good. My back hurt from so many people patting it, My hair was a tangled a mess from all the “hair shakes” of approval from those I looked up to and loved. It was all good, until I forgot what it was all about. When’s the last time you heard a preacher say, I screwed up? You just did.

Warning; it is going to get uncomfortable. Every great life comes to a crossroads of crisis and in the crisis there is a choice that must be made and in that choice one is squeezed in the crucible of character. If you are not at this point in your journey just yet, it is somewhere on your map. Trust me. First of all I don't think you are evil. I believe wholeheartedly your intentions are nothing but honorable. In your heart you are doing everything for the Kingdom. I would even venture a guess that in your mind, you're not doing enough, not enough have been saved, not enough lives have been impacted. You are going where the doors are opening, because you were taught every open door must be God, yet while you fill-up your schedule with ministry what really matters is left with little time.

OK heavy and preachy I know , but let me add this;In the end how many people you preach to isn't gonna matter, how big your church or ministry is won't even be given special consideration................. at ALL.When your time in the spotlight is past, your day in the sun turns to evening you are going to want your wife and kids by your side. You are going to want to look at yourself in the mirror and be able to say "I put God first, My wife second, my kids two A and the ministry third. Right now your unaware just how close you are to heartbreak. While you work (preach)for a living and leave them behind you are justifying in your mind "they have to understand .......this is Kingdom stuff " and you are opening the door for the enemy and his home wrecking strategies.

Lets be honest, preaching is a serious job and as preachers we (should) carry a heavy burden for the souls of men and women. People who do not have this calling , cannot grasp its full weight.Yet it also has tremendous perks. Time, freedom, esteem, purpose, fulfillment. When we are engaged in the actual work we are never alone. We are surrounded by support and those who admire us and look to us. As a pentecostal preacher you have your own cheering section every night! Now add the fellowship, eating out, the golf, the shopping, the other things that come with it ( Come on its not all praying and fasting)and you have a enviable lifestyle.

When is the last time your wife got to fully participate in that. I honestly believe that there isn't a lonelier spot in the church than being a ministers wife. High expectations with little credit. High scrutiny with minimal tolerance. Pressure without the satisfaction.Now add that she sees you very little, while your finding your fulfillment in your ministry. Where is she finding hers? Hopefully you are not counting on the kids and raising them to be all she needs, because someday my friend it will be just the two of you. If she is involved in her own ministry wonderful support her and encourage her, but it won't take the place of her husband.Does she know that she is still the love of your life and that you will do anything to reinforce and cultivate that love as your highest priority? Does she sense you respect her and that she isn't just the little lady you come home to?Look, right now she is proud of you still, she is telling you to "go for it!" She is extremely proud to be your wife, but no matter what she says, she still wants to be cherished. She wants to know that she matters more than anyone else. She will need you to prove it not just say it.

And your kids? Your kids would rather have a daddy who is there, then a daddy who is superstar. Bottom line.Trust me, I know what it is like to wake up to a cruel reality. I was certain, sure, in control and had life all figured out. I was under the impression that I was a decent husband and that "we" were in this together, only to find out that while I was focused on succeeding in ministry / life I was failing at my marriage. I just wasn't awake. I am not asking for your sympathy, I am asking, for your attention.

Please ask your self the hard questions, challenge yourself to do the right thing. I know this could be construed as "Chicken Little" theology, maybe my impressions are wrong. Maybe I simply projected my painful past on to you. Maybe I am in the Holy Ghost.I have spent the past three years putting the pieces of my life back together and it hasn't been easy or technically fun. Yet, by the grace of God I am operating in a wholeness I never had before. I see ever so clearly what really matters.Thankfully for me, I have four kids to daily ( even though I only see them every other week) pour out my love on, to prove that I am a changed man. I have four blessings to connect with and nurture. I have friends who encourage me to find my ministry stride, get going full-time again but frankly it won't happen unless I can satisfy the deep needs of my kids first!

I was talking to my youngest son the other day, I mentioned I had to spend to a few more hours working that night because I needed to make some extra money. His reply was in his "shy" voice " I like the extra money but I don't like less daddy"Come on,Clean something off your schedule, cancel a meeting or two. Dedicate to being a husband and a dad. God will honor that commitment.

I am telling you it won't hurt your ministry to say "no" every once in awhile. Sometimes you gotta just put everyone and their needs aside to meet hers and the kids.Then and only then will you be a true superstar.

(this article was posted by a friend, Kevin Knudsen, on Facebook)

Buzzards, Bats, & Bumblebees

The following is from an email sent to me from a friend.

Sorry, I can't give credit to the author as I don't know where it originated from.

THE BUZZARD:

If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6 feet by 8 feet and is entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of its ability to fly, will be an absolute prisoner. The reason is that a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground with a run of 10 to 12 feet. Without space to run, as is its habit, it will not even attempt to fly, but will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with no top.

THE BAT:

The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a remarkable nimble creature in the air, cannot take off from a level place. If it is placed on the floor or flat ground, all it can do is shuffle about helplessly and, no doubt, painful ly, until it reaches some slight elevation from which it can throw itself into the air. Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.

THE BUMBLEBEE:

A bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler, will be there until it dies, unless it is taken out. It never sees the means of escape at the top, but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom. It will seek a way where none exists, until it completely destroys itself.

PEOPLE:

In many ways, we are like the buzzard, the bat, and the bumblebee. We struggle about with all our problems and frustrations, never realizing that all we have to do is look up! That's the answer, the escape route and the solution to any problem! Just look up.

Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up!

Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.

Powerful Example!

Oxford and Cambridge have now decided to remove the words

CAN'T and IMPOSSIBLE from their dictionary.

Jessica Cox, 25, a girl born without arms, stands inside an aircraft. The girl from Tucson, Arizona, got the Sport Pilot certificate lately and became the first pilot licensed to fly using only her feet.

Jessica was born without arms, but that has only stopped her from doing one thing: Using the word 'cant.'

Her latest flight into the seemingly impossible is becoming the first pilot licensed to fly using only her feet.

With one foot manning the controls and the other delicately guiding the steering column, Cox soared to achieve a Sport Pilot certificate. Her certificate qualifies her to fly a light-sport aircraft to altitudes of 10,000 feet.

'She's a good pilot. She's rock solid,' said Parrish Traweek, 42, the flying instructor at San Manuel's Ray Blair Airport.

Parrish Traweek runs PC Aircraft Maintenance and Flight Services and has trained many pilots, some of whom didn't come close to Cox's abilities.

'When she came up here driving a car,' Traweek recalled, 'I knew she'd have no problem flying a plane.'

Doctors never learned why she was born without arms, but she figured out early on that she didn't want to use prosthetic devices.

Jessica Cox, 25, earned a license to fly airplanes on October 10, 2008. Jessica also has two black belts in Tae Kwan-Do, a college degree in Psychology, and a thriving career as a motivational speaker. What doesn't Jessica Cox have? Arms. A bilateral congenital limb deficiency doesn't stop Ms. Cox from achieving and surpassing her goals. From birth on, her feet became her hands. She can drive a car, type 25 words per minute, and fly an airplane using her feet, without any special adaptations. She is the first woman without arms to earn a license to fly. 'I highly encourage people with disabilities to consider flying,' Cox said. 'It helps reverse the stereotype that people with disabilities are powerless into the belief that they are powerful and capable of setting high goals and achieving them. Jessica earned her Sport Pilot certificate after training with Able Flight, a North Carolina flight training company that specializes in helping people with disabilities learn to fly. Ms. Cox won an Able Flight scholarship and was able to train with instructor Parrish Traweek free of charge.

"LUV" one another!

Ever have to deal with someone who seemed impossible to convince even though you KNEW you were right? The following clip expresses this quite well:





Ever feel this way in your relationships? Your marriage? With your kids? People at work? At church? You're not alone!

Try this technique: Learn to "LUV" that person.

"LUV" is an acronym for L - listen U - understand V - validate

First, really listen to the person. Give them time to express their viewpoint. The try to understand their perspective. See if there is validity to what they're saying. Then validate them by expressing the fact that you've heard them and understand what they're saying.

An example of this is something that we've all experienced at some point, the drive-through window at a fast-food restaurant. Look at what takes place when you pull up to a McDonalds window.

"Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?"

"Yes. I'd like a Big Mac, small fries, and diet-coke."

"Would you like to super-size that?" (I had to add that. ;) )

"No, thanks."

"Ok, just to confirm. You ordered a Big Mac, small fries, and a diet-coke."

"Correct."

"That will be $5.82 at the next window. Thank you for coming to McDonalds today!"

Folks, they have the "LUV" down pat! They listened, understood, and validated. By repeating the order back correctly, they showed they heard you, clearly understood you, and validated you by giving you exactly what you wanted even though they "suggested" more. They did not look you over and insist you go with the McSalad instead! No, they understood what you wanted and were able to provide that for you.

Now, I'm not suggesting that you must always give in to the opposing person's viewpoint. Simply knowing that you've heard their viewpoint is often enough. For instance, when they verbalize their opinion, you are not over-talking them; you are genuinely listening. Then you show them you understand where they are coming from and validating that opinion by repeating what they said back to them. Often times what will happen is they will hear what they have said from you and either realize that it may be incorrect on their part or how you understood it is incorrect. Either way, you've narrowed the distance between your opinions.

If, after attempting to show them "LUV", there is still a vast disagreement, at least you've greatly decreased the possibility of hostility between you and them. "This is My commandment, that you LUV one another." Give it a try! I'm sure you'll have the opportunity to do so!

Broken Vessels

“I am forgotten like a dead man, out of mind; I am like a broken vessel.” Psalm 31:12

God wants what’s best for you…He wants to do something great in and with and through your life.

Someone once said, “Before God can use a man greatly, He must wound him deeply.”

“Before you can bless, you must bleed; before you can help, you must first hurt.”

Oswald Chambers was right when he said, “If we are ever going to be made into wine, we will have to be crushed—you cannot drink grapes. Grapes become wine only when they have been squeezed.”

“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.” II Corinthians 4:17

There is a clear pattern in the Bible that teaches us that brokenness precedes greatness:

1. Before Abraham became the father of many nations, he and Sarah were childless.
2. Before Jacob could be blessed, he was wounded by angel in a wrestling match.
3. Before Joseph ruled Egypt, he was thrown into a pit, sold into slavery, and falsely imprisoned.
4. Before Job’s estate was doubled, he lost everything he had, including his family, his fortune, and his future.
5. Before Moses became the great deliverer, he lost his position, his possessions, and his popularity.
6. Before Joshua conquered the Promised Land, he went through the wilderness.
7. Before Samson crushed the Philistines, he was blinded, bound, and mocked.
8. Before David became king, he was renounced by his family, ridiculed by his foes, and rejected by his friends.
9. Before Daniel could be used mightily, he had to spend the night in the lion’s den.
10. Before Hosea became a powerful spokesman for God, his wife betrayed him and returned to prostitution.
11. Before Peter preached 3,000 souls into the kingdom, he denied his Savior three times and went out and wept bitterly.
12. Before Paul brought the gospel to the Gentiles, he was blinded on the Damascus road.

Watchman Nee said, “Our spirit is released according to the degree of our brokenness. The one who has accepted the most discipline is the one who can best serve. The more one is broken, the more sensitive he is.”

Oswald Chambers commented, "When God gets us alone through suffering, heartbreak, temptation, disappointment, sickness, or by thwarted desires, a broken friendship, or a new friendship—when He gets us absolutely alone, and we are totally speechless, unable to ask even one question, then He begins to teach us."

Sometimes God sees that our life is a mess and He breaks us so that He can remake us.

“And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it.” Jeremiah 18:4

The songwriter expressed the proper attitude we should have during the times when we are broken:

Have Thine own way, Lord.
Have Thine own way.
Thou art the Potter,
I am the clay.

Mold me and make me
After Thy will.
While I am waiting,
Yielded and still.

The Potter is able to mend the broken vessel and use it for His own purposes and pleasure!

The following is a poem written by Joan Clifton Costner:

It’s titled, “The Broken Harp”.

In the corner, of the basement,
Stood a cobweb covered harp.
Broken now and so forsaken,
There it stood back in the dark.

No one, in the little village,
Could repair the harp again.
And, you’d never guess the music ~
Or the places it had been.

Came a ragged man a beggin’
For a place out of the cold,
He was bent and slightly limpin’.
He was lookin’ frail and old.

So, the houseman gave permission.
He could sleep upon the floor
Of the basement, where was kept
The harp - with melody no more.

Soon, the house was filled with music!
’Twas as sweet as angels bring.
And, the household came a-runnin’,
Just to see the vibrant strings!

Dusted now, it stood in beauty.
Every web was cleared away.
And, the ragged man was singing
Very softly as he played.

In his song, he told the story
How he’d made that harp, when new.
Since he’d made its first beginning,
Fixing wasn’t hard to do.

Dear friend, if you are needing
Just a touch from God above,
Just remember Who has made you.
He can "fix" you with His love.

He can fill the empty corners
Of your heart with song anew.
He can take each day and make
A special melody for you!

He can fix the broken pieces,
Better even than before,
And open wide the storehouse
Of His blessing evermore!

Although not a BONE of our Lord was broken, when the Lord was crucified and bore our sins in His body, the Bible describes His body as being broken:

“And when he had given thanks, he brake it, and said, Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you: this do in remembrance of me.” 1 Corinthians 11:24

Our Lord was broken, but through His brokenness, the greatest blessing of them all –salvation, was made available for you and me.

My friend, you may be broken today. I’m not denying that. What I am denying is that you’re being hope, beyond usefulness to God, or beyond value in His kingdom. It’s not you or me who does the mending … it’s Him. You just need to allow Him to heal and mold you anyway He sees fit. May God bless you!