Word to a Ministry Superstar

So before we get too far, I need you to forgive me. Forgive me, because I don’t have the guts to say this to your face.Forgive me, because my brain all to often locks on to something with such a veracious stranglehold that I just can’t let it go.Forgive me because I am going to make what should be a private conversation public, hopefully without giving up your identity.

I won't give you up..I promise.You are a star on the rise.You’re being heralded and bandied about as one of the next greats. You’re name has been scrawled on many district, special event, revival speakers list throughout the world. You are a powerful personality, to call you a merely a speaker or preacher would not do your impact justice. You my friend are a force. A human ball of energy that is rapidly gaining momentum like the currents of the Colorado River. Soon your ministry will be a froth of whirling whiteheads with unmistakable tow. Many will be caught in “your” vortex and their lives will be changed…. For the better. Forever.Yet you are headed for shipwreck.

Arrogant of me, I know. I haven’t even spent an entire day with you, but through some all too personal experiences coupled with observation, this is getting too painful to watch. Again, Painful and Personal. My star never has shown as brightly as yours, but at one time it was bright enough. At one point I had it all. Look at the list : Pretty wife? Check. Picture perfect family? Check. Beautiful home? Check. Sizable income? Check. Nice Church? Check. I traveled; I spoke at camps, conventions, special revivals. I was gathering momentum as a Pastor, a leader, a youth president. All was good. My back hurt from so many people patting it, My hair was a tangled a mess from all the “hair shakes” of approval from those I looked up to and loved. It was all good, until I forgot what it was all about. When’s the last time you heard a preacher say, I screwed up? You just did.

Warning; it is going to get uncomfortable. Every great life comes to a crossroads of crisis and in the crisis there is a choice that must be made and in that choice one is squeezed in the crucible of character. If you are not at this point in your journey just yet, it is somewhere on your map. Trust me. First of all I don't think you are evil. I believe wholeheartedly your intentions are nothing but honorable. In your heart you are doing everything for the Kingdom. I would even venture a guess that in your mind, you're not doing enough, not enough have been saved, not enough lives have been impacted. You are going where the doors are opening, because you were taught every open door must be God, yet while you fill-up your schedule with ministry what really matters is left with little time.

OK heavy and preachy I know , but let me add this;In the end how many people you preach to isn't gonna matter, how big your church or ministry is won't even be given special consideration................. at ALL.When your time in the spotlight is past, your day in the sun turns to evening you are going to want your wife and kids by your side. You are going to want to look at yourself in the mirror and be able to say "I put God first, My wife second, my kids two A and the ministry third. Right now your unaware just how close you are to heartbreak. While you work (preach)for a living and leave them behind you are justifying in your mind "they have to understand .......this is Kingdom stuff " and you are opening the door for the enemy and his home wrecking strategies.

Lets be honest, preaching is a serious job and as preachers we (should) carry a heavy burden for the souls of men and women. People who do not have this calling , cannot grasp its full weight.Yet it also has tremendous perks. Time, freedom, esteem, purpose, fulfillment. When we are engaged in the actual work we are never alone. We are surrounded by support and those who admire us and look to us. As a pentecostal preacher you have your own cheering section every night! Now add the fellowship, eating out, the golf, the shopping, the other things that come with it ( Come on its not all praying and fasting)and you have a enviable lifestyle.

When is the last time your wife got to fully participate in that. I honestly believe that there isn't a lonelier spot in the church than being a ministers wife. High expectations with little credit. High scrutiny with minimal tolerance. Pressure without the satisfaction.Now add that she sees you very little, while your finding your fulfillment in your ministry. Where is she finding hers? Hopefully you are not counting on the kids and raising them to be all she needs, because someday my friend it will be just the two of you. If she is involved in her own ministry wonderful support her and encourage her, but it won't take the place of her husband.Does she know that she is still the love of your life and that you will do anything to reinforce and cultivate that love as your highest priority? Does she sense you respect her and that she isn't just the little lady you come home to?Look, right now she is proud of you still, she is telling you to "go for it!" She is extremely proud to be your wife, but no matter what she says, she still wants to be cherished. She wants to know that she matters more than anyone else. She will need you to prove it not just say it.

And your kids? Your kids would rather have a daddy who is there, then a daddy who is superstar. Bottom line.Trust me, I know what it is like to wake up to a cruel reality. I was certain, sure, in control and had life all figured out. I was under the impression that I was a decent husband and that "we" were in this together, only to find out that while I was focused on succeeding in ministry / life I was failing at my marriage. I just wasn't awake. I am not asking for your sympathy, I am asking, for your attention.

Please ask your self the hard questions, challenge yourself to do the right thing. I know this could be construed as "Chicken Little" theology, maybe my impressions are wrong. Maybe I simply projected my painful past on to you. Maybe I am in the Holy Ghost.I have spent the past three years putting the pieces of my life back together and it hasn't been easy or technically fun. Yet, by the grace of God I am operating in a wholeness I never had before. I see ever so clearly what really matters.Thankfully for me, I have four kids to daily ( even though I only see them every other week) pour out my love on, to prove that I am a changed man. I have four blessings to connect with and nurture. I have friends who encourage me to find my ministry stride, get going full-time again but frankly it won't happen unless I can satisfy the deep needs of my kids first!

I was talking to my youngest son the other day, I mentioned I had to spend to a few more hours working that night because I needed to make some extra money. His reply was in his "shy" voice " I like the extra money but I don't like less daddy"Come on,Clean something off your schedule, cancel a meeting or two. Dedicate to being a husband and a dad. God will honor that commitment.

I am telling you it won't hurt your ministry to say "no" every once in awhile. Sometimes you gotta just put everyone and their needs aside to meet hers and the kids.Then and only then will you be a true superstar.

(this article was posted by a friend, Kevin Knudsen, on Facebook)