"LUV" one another!

Ever have to deal with someone who seemed impossible to convince even though you KNEW you were right? The following clip expresses this quite well:





Ever feel this way in your relationships? Your marriage? With your kids? People at work? At church? You're not alone!

Try this technique: Learn to "LUV" that person.

"LUV" is an acronym for L - listen U - understand V - validate

First, really listen to the person. Give them time to express their viewpoint. The try to understand their perspective. See if there is validity to what they're saying. Then validate them by expressing the fact that you've heard them and understand what they're saying.

An example of this is something that we've all experienced at some point, the drive-through window at a fast-food restaurant. Look at what takes place when you pull up to a McDonalds window.

"Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?"

"Yes. I'd like a Big Mac, small fries, and diet-coke."

"Would you like to super-size that?" (I had to add that. ;) )

"No, thanks."

"Ok, just to confirm. You ordered a Big Mac, small fries, and a diet-coke."

"Correct."

"That will be $5.82 at the next window. Thank you for coming to McDonalds today!"

Folks, they have the "LUV" down pat! They listened, understood, and validated. By repeating the order back correctly, they showed they heard you, clearly understood you, and validated you by giving you exactly what you wanted even though they "suggested" more. They did not look you over and insist you go with the McSalad instead! No, they understood what you wanted and were able to provide that for you.

Now, I'm not suggesting that you must always give in to the opposing person's viewpoint. Simply knowing that you've heard their viewpoint is often enough. For instance, when they verbalize their opinion, you are not over-talking them; you are genuinely listening. Then you show them you understand where they are coming from and validating that opinion by repeating what they said back to them. Often times what will happen is they will hear what they have said from you and either realize that it may be incorrect on their part or how you understood it is incorrect. Either way, you've narrowed the distance between your opinions.

If, after attempting to show them "LUV", there is still a vast disagreement, at least you've greatly decreased the possibility of hostility between you and them. "This is My commandment, that you LUV one another." Give it a try! I'm sure you'll have the opportunity to do so!